Time is out of joint
(Hamlet, W. Shakespeare)
I cannot say that art is always born out of uneasiness - it can come from joy, friendship, love, a sudden astonishment at the wonders of nature...
For me as an artist, art comes from this all and much more. But all of this is a source of uneasiness to me.
I know this might sound very harsh - but even the most beautiful and sweet emotion is a source of uneasiness, or rather, imbalance.
I could say that contact with reality is a source of perpetual imbalance to me.
A sense of not being aligned to others, as if I was not walking at their rhythm, but constantly ahead of them or behind them.
When I was younger I could not understand this sensation. Now I have learned that this is my way of living - seeing things from outside, as if they were in an aquarium, but at the same time feeling things on my skin. Inside me.
The only way to overcome such uneasiness, for me, is theatre - being on the stage with actors and working with them. And afterwards, going back to reality, but with a fresh look on things, and light-hearted.
It is not an escape from reality, but rather a way to understand it through the lens of theatre.
I need time to understand reality, I need space to rebuild it, I need to rewrite it to be able to live it.
Indeed, being part of TCFT 'aligned' me with external time: during these two weeks of workshops, meetings, discussions, clashes... reality was in front of me but it did not scare me, it did not create the uneasiness I always feel.
I believe this happened because in TCFT I met people who walk at my same rhythm, listen kindly to my voice, observe the world through my eyes. And this all without even speaking the same language!
This experience generates a sense of community, and it is a flame to keep burning inside me, a flame to get close to when I feel the uneasiness coming, the imbalance making me stumble when all the others walk steadily.
TCFT is a non-material place where I can walk at the same rhythm as reality, because it is a reality that we create step by step.